Potty training is one of those milestones that as parents we both look forward to and also wholeheartedly dread at the same time. On one hand, never having to change another diaper ever again sounds pretty incredible. On the other, the idea of channeling all the chaotic energy of a toddler into a comparatively very small toilet bowl seems, well, borderline impossible. Add in the fact that at least three parents from daycare have already mentioned that “it’s actually way easier to train them if you do it when they’re 9 months old” and you might just find yourself thinking that you missed the boat and your child may now enter college incontinent.

Don’t panic. First of all, most kids do figure out how to pee in the toilet on their own before they graduate high school. And more importantly, you’ll know when your child is ready to potty trained because they’ll start showing you the following signs:

1. They start trying to break into the bathroom while you’re using it. Oftentimes the first sign that your toddler is ready to potty train is a pretty weird one. At some point, you’ll notice that they become a little too into watching you go to the bathroom. They may follow you in, or peek their head around the door and stare for a few too many seconds. This is a good thing, though! It means they’re interested in the process of going to the bathroom like an adult–AKA on a toilet while scrolling through various social media apps.
2. You go to change their diaper and there’s nothing in it. Another telltale sign that your toddler is ready to potty train is that they’re able to “hold it” longer than they have before. You might go to change their diaper after a two-hour-long nap and find nothing inside. They might even make it an entire night without so much as a blue line on their indicator strip. When you find yourself throwing away your highly absorbent diapers completely dry, take that as a sign that it’s time to start talking about the toilet.
3. They announce that they’ve just pooped. Not that kids normally have any sort of filter, but at some point you might notice that your toddler is getting even more carefree with their conversation. Just wait until they confidently inform an entire room of invited guests that they’ve just soiled themself. Then you’ll really know it’s time.
4. They start to get embarrassed when they go in their diaper. On the other hand, some kids will go the opposite direction and begin to hide when they go to the bathroom in their diaper. This one is a little tougher to detect because they can get really incognito–hiding behind your couch, in their closet, or even in the dog’s crate.
5. They’re independent enough to follow directions and use a toilet. This one might seem basic, but it’s probably the most important sign to consider. Don’t worry about what any of the other parents in your life are doing–just pay attention to your child’s developmental progress. Are they independent enough to follow simple directions? Can they understand and obey when you ask them to share a toy with a friend, or bring you an apple from the fruit bowl? Physically, can they undress themselves and get onto and off of a toilet? If the answer to any of these things is “no” then it’s not time to potty train yet. 

If you’ve noticed many (or all) of these signs in your toddler, it’s probably the right time for you to jump into the proverbial deep end. There will be bumps along the way, but rest assured you’ll make it through–at least by the time they’re in middle school.